I may be a terrible person. I realize logically this is not true. I haven’t murdered anyone or stolen anything, but I definitely have the sneaking suspicion this may be true whenever this one dog I watch hits me with the Guilt Eyes. I house sit for a family that has a dog named Rocky. Rocky and I have a history. He is an incredibly large, muscular and ridiculously sweet dog. When I first house sat for Rocky, it took a solid five days for him to not piss himself in terror when he saw me. Now mind you, I have a reasonable amount of experience with dogs. I tried everything. I went in slowly, I sat down on his level, used the gentlest voice possible, and even resorted to blatant bribes. It still took me a solid week to convince this dog, who is large enough to take me down without much trouble, that I was not going to slay him in a black magic ritual. Rocky and I have managed to move beyond that point now, and I have the opposite problem. Rather than being terrified OF me, Rocky has become terrified of being WITHOUT me. He follows me around like a furry shadow. I’ve drawn the line at following me into the bathroom, but he will patiently wait, staring at the closed door until I come out. I woke up the other morning because of the sensation of hot, warm breath being blown in my face, and opened my eyes to find Rocky had hopped up on the bed and shoved his face abouthisclose to mine. He of course, gave me a good morning kiss. Nothing to brighten up your morning like dog spit. Rocky has, however, retained one key weapon. The Guilt Eyes. They look more or less like the ones below.
Feel them boring into your soul. FEEL THEM.
Before I leave the home I am supposed to shut Rocky in a back bedroom. He always gets a treat, and he has a very comfortable bed in there to curl up on. Yet every time, without fail he will turn the Guilt Eyes on me and I will shut the door and walk down the hall feeling like I just blew up an orphanage or something equally terrible. How do the animals in your lives shamelessly emotionally manipulate you? Do you too know the power of the Guilt Eyes?
Tags: animals, dog, dogs, emotional manipulation, eyes, guilt, puppy, terrible person
